Rezension zu "I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn't): Making the Journey from "What Will People Think?" to "I Am Enough"" von Brene Brown
I had seen Brené Brown's TED speech a few years ago and I really loved it at the time. It was not by mistake one of the most inspiring talks on the site. Now I finally got around to reading one of her books. This book was inspiring and interesting in its own way. Of course a 18 minutes speech is easier to comprehend and might therefore seem more fun, but this book gives so much background and research results and a lot of inspirations to work with.
The book can be split into four parts. In the first chapters Brené Brown tries to define what shame is. She shows how guilt might seem similar, but is really different from shame. And how empathy can help to not feel like an outcast and lost in shame.
The middle part focuses on the four elements of shame she could find during her research. First one has to learn how to recognize shame and how to realize a situation might lead to a shame experience, so we can brace ourselves and know what situations we might want to avoid. The second element focuses on practicing critical awareness, finding out why we experience shame in those situations and why such shaming constructs might exist. The third element focuses on the importance of not being alone in the shame, about finding a network of people you trust and can reach out to and share your experiences with. The final element of shame is how we talk about shame. We learn how to have those hard and honest conversations.
In the following parts Brené Brown tries to show how these elements are interconnected and how they work in real life. What steps one should take to avoid falling into the shame trap.
In the final chapter she shows a bit of her research concerning men and children and their relationship with shame, since the rest of the book is focused around how women deal with shame.
Brene Brown uses examples from her sessions with women who experienced shame to visualize the situations in which shame can occur, throughout the book. I found it very helpful to see those examples, it helps to maybe discover some shame topics for yourself or show that other people feel the same as you.
I did read the book as part of a group and it was nice to see other peoples thoughts and struggles with the topic. As well as it forced me to reflect a bit more than simply reading the book. However I think I could have gained even more insight from this book if I had really stopped and answered all the different questions the book asks for myself and get even more to the bottom of were my shame issues are.
I think this book is worth a reread in the future, for now I recommend the book to all the women out there who struggle with shame issues and want to understand those better.