Rezension zu "Just Bitten" von Rocki Wall
The story starts with a girl running for her life, barefoot, through a dark winter forest. She has no idea where she is, who she is, or what's chasing her. She only knows that she's in grave danger. When that danger catches up with her, it's more horrible than she could've imagined...
The author seems to possess a great natural talent for creating atmosphere. I could picture the scenes she described very easily. However, the language is extremely repetitive, and the sentences often have an awkward structure or shaky grammar. I made it to 17% before I gave up on the novel due to these issues - they just distracted me too much from the story.
A few examples - repetitions:
"It was IRRESISTIBLE; it made him thirst like NO OTHER scent could. (...) This blood was different, like NO OTHER and he knew he was unable to RESIST it. (...) He was urged on by a fragrance like NO OTHER."
"He really didn't have MUCH OF A choice. There wasn't MUCH OF A human population..."
"When your maker chooses you, you stay with him for 50 YEARS. (....) Those 50 YEARS are very important for protection and training. The most important thing of the 50 YEARS is their blood."
"Well, you're finally awake; I've been waiting FOR YOU all day FOR YOU."
"THEY ALL advanced on her. Now THEY ALL shared that same evil smile."
"He wasn't sure if there was anything LEFT in her. Would they have LEFT her here if there was? But then again, the sun was rising they might have LEFT to get back to their nest in time."
"HE WOULD THEN SNEAK out and hunt usually rodents or rabbits. HE WOULD THEN SNEAK back..."
Structure and grammar:
"The one next to him made a low sound that came from his chest and up his throat that can only be described as an unnatural growl."
"The only time it is ever acceptable to drink a vampires blood is from their maker."
"Maybe that is why it didn't bother him too much about the rising sun or the other vampires."
"They had found that cave for him to hide in believing he would return for him soon..."
"He had already drank..."
It's a real shame that the story gets buried beneath something that could be fixed with some editing, maybe with the help of a good proof-reader! I will definitely give the book another try if it's ever re-worked.